TS - Possible Edwards visit has hairdressers primed

Possible Edwards visit has hairdressers primed
James Faulk Opinion Column/The Times-Standard
Article Launched: 07/17/2007 04:25:02 AM PDT

The possibility of a Humboldt County visit by top-tier Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards has kicked off a wave of manic competition among the area's hair management specialists.

Beauty pushers county-wide have been sweeping and re-sweeping their tiles floors and obsessively filling their perfumed spray bottles, anxious to cash in on what has become the most expensive political race in the history of American politics.

”If I can get just one haircut from Mr. Edwards, I'll be set for the quarter,” said one anonymous stylist.

Many hairdressers in the county are self-employed. They rent booths from shop owners, but buy their own supplies and pay for their own insurance.

Having to float their own boats makes it hard to get ahead. So any opportunity to land a hairy fish as big as Edwards, one who indiscriminately flings cash at anyone who attempts to tame his sandy blond bouffant, is a blessing.

Many local lock snippers, embittered by recent Humboldt County elections, pointed to the rifts created in their industry in last race for district attorney.

Paul Gallegos, flush with a full head of hair, seemed an obvious choice for the local beauty industry. But Worth Dikeman, man of the charming flesh-colored dome, had friends at least who needed haircuts, and many of those have been known to drop generous tips.
So the bloodbath ensued -- hairdresser versus stylist, sister versus sister, mother versus daughter, stylish man versus talkative woman.

In the end, youth and beauty won the day, but even the memory of that bitter battle has some wary now to partake in this Great Humboldt Haircut Hullabaloo of 2007.

For some, it's just too early to commit to one candidate. If Edwards wins, that's all fine. But what if Hillary takes the cake? While she may frequent the beauty shop, she's appears to be more frugal with that expense -- and all her donors have flocked to Obama.

And what if Obama wins? Some in the beauty biz might say this is a worst case scenario -- the attractive young candidate has been spotted more than once this past year in Chicago-area barber shops, touting his cultural credentials, and scaring the daylights out of stylists the world over.

Faulk truism No. 714: A barber is not a hairdresser, nor vice versa. And don't forget it.

It's like Yankees/Red Sox, or 49ers/Rams, between the two shearing camps. There's only so much hair to be cut, and too many scissors.


Note to readers: I made this all up. I “Jayson Blair'ed” it for fun. But it's OK -- my wife's a hair stylist. And don't call my editors. They already know.

James Faulk can be reached at 441-0511 or jfaulk@times-standard.com.